Thoughts from below the earth's crust
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: The little devils on my each of my shoulders
Topic: Cute waffles
I have decided to begin with a few true statements:

-The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other's shoulders
-In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter."
-In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word.
-In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
-The law states that more than 3000 sheep cannot be herded down Hollywood Blvd. at any one time.

With these important facts in mind, it would be wise for us to consider why it is necessary to be in subordination to the concept of style. When one logically progresses through the necessary steps of coming to a conclusion of what a style is, one finds that, really, it is a relative term. If the average human being subscribed to a manufactured style, would not we all be sheep? Are we simply on the intelligence level of an animal that ends up being shaved every year for the wool that eventually becomes an itchy undergarment? I think not. And what about the people who dictate the styles? Are they subject to anything or do they simply own superior intelligence and basically own everyone else? For that, I do not personally despise them, I actually commend them for their use of superior persuasive power over others. How powerful is it that a person could make a living telling other people how to be?
Now, regarding the subject of style relativity, what makes one style superior over another? What if, in actuality, kilts with tartan ties were the superior style in the course of history instead of contemporary styles? And if so, what or who would decide that that was how it was to be? This is damaging my cerebellum so I'll stop.
But I'll leave with this problem: What happened to Uncle Jemima?

Give my regards to your grandmother,
The Obstinate Bologna

Random Thought
Mood:  caffeinated
Dear Diary, One thing that seems to tickle the inner hatred of my soul, is people who pretend to be "artistic" when in fact they are far from it. They spray their hair pink or blue or clear, pierce their everything, wear sweatshirts inside out, and they call it "expressing themselves". You people are not expressing yourselves, you are making yourselves look like idiots....Now...a branch off this topic usually falls with the individuals who are not just "artistic", but now claim the title "photographer" as their own. They take pictures of some hands holding a candle, or a friend on a swing looking quite depressed and at the point of "utter uselessness", or some knives or other utensils that are quite uplifting, and they take these photos and turn them black and white and announce them as "creative and artistic". "yeah, see these black and white photographs? I'm going into photography." This aggrivates cucumber...... Just because you people can pick up a camera, point it in the general direction of an object,push a button, and turn it black and white on your windows computer that your daddy paid for, does not give you the right to call yourself a photographer, let alone make it an excuse for you to "go into photography". Ok if u take some classes and actually KNOW about photography...then shoot away....but please don't use it as an excuse to fail at everything else in school just because your photographic creativity leaves room for "no other form of learning"....PUKE GAG BLOOHOHHHOHHOHH........If you know of someone like this or are aggrivated by this...let the cucumber knoweth....Thanks Diary, your loyal Fallen Cucumber

Mood:  sad
Dear Diary,
Have you ever woken up in a state of utter confusion? Where the dream you have just experienced was so real that....no matter how much you think about it...you have no idea whether the consciousness you are experiencing is factual or fictitious?.....I've never really felt that before....anyways.....Have you ever gotten sick on some sort of food in your bewildered past....and then anytime you try to eat that food again thereafter your stomache wretches with the thought of being sick again. I have experienced this with egg salad....Not that the mere ingredience make me pale, for actually I enjoy every single one of them, but because I was wretchedly sick on this one occasion, anytime I smell or experience the taste of eggsual salad upon my lips, I run for the nearest latrine.... Let me know what foods do this to you and i will be utterly impressed... Thanks Diary.....until we meet again......

-The Fallen Cucumber

my first entry
Mood:  down
Have you ever wandered into the bowels of your inner life and seeked the ever popular game of connect four?.....me either...I just wondered if you had, but on the other hand I don't really care because I......am the Fallen Cucumber....and this.....is my incredibly emotional and fact-filled diary of useless rants and information.

Now this being the first entry into my incredibly emotional and fact-filled diary of useless rants and information.... i just want to lay down some solomn requests....never take what I have to say too seriously....and tell the cucumber what you think about what he has to say...for thiseth maketh him happy....leaveth some COMMENTS...eth

Now the first topic I wish to lay down is a characteristic i have learned about myself that i wish to see if i share in common with others....Have you ever had that? Have you ever had random habits that you suddenly notice that you do all the time but were oblivious to them for the previous existence of your life? I know i have....and that is.....sitting on the edge of chairs.....somehow i manage to sit on the edge of a chair no matter what kind of chair it is.....if i force my buttile region to sit all the way to the back....within five seconds ill realize that my behind is teetering once again on the edge.....and ill force myself to scoot back.....this process repeats itself about a billion times until i actually stand up or fall asleep......DOES ANYONE DO THIS????......now there have been documented cases of myself doing this daily ritual where i will go so far as my back will slide all the way down the back of the chair and my rear-end will plummet to the ground....... Does anyone have duct-tape? I think that might do the trick. Thanks for listening diary...you're my only true friend
-your loyal Fallen Cucumber


..